The best way to protect our children against HIV in the future is to tell them the facts now. Here’s some advice from sex educator and nurse Burgie Ireland
A medical doctor and I go to schools to give talks to children about HIV and Aids. Many children have heard distorted stories about Aids from their friends at school. I have been asked questions like: “I heard that Aids comes from a woman who had sex with an ape” and “Can you get Aids if you masturbate?”
Parents need to speak honestly about HIV and Aids. If we don’t tell our children, somebody else will, and when they do, it may be wrong or inappropriate information. Take each child’s age and level of understanding into consideration. Be there when your child wants to talk to you (this is usually when you’re busiest!) but don’t over react and say things like “I don’t want to talk about it” or “Ask your father”. It’s also OK to say “I don’t know” and to find out!
- Answering kids’ questions
Answer questions honestly. If you are inhibited by circumstances, culture or social boundaries, talk to your child’s teacher or a counsellor at your local clinic or HIV and Aids centre. Here are some questions that kids commonly ask. Give an age-appropriate explanation, but here are the basic facts you will want to impart.
A virus is a nasty trouble-maker that can make a person sick. Viruses are everywhere and they spread when we touch things, they’re on our food and even in the air we breathe. Viruses cannot be destroyed by antibiotics; only white blood cells (we call them “soldier cells”) in the body can do this. When the body fights a virus, it creates a special army of antibodies (Or “firing soldiers”) to fight that specific virus. This means that if the virus gets into the body again, the antibodies will kick into action and the person won’t get that particular sickness again (that’s why you won’t get measles or mumps twice). However, once a virus gets into the body, it stays for good. Fortunately a strong immune system keeps us healthy.
HIV (Human Immunological Virus) is a very smart virus that attacks only humans. You can explain to your child that it is very, very small (5 000 particles can fit into a single full stop at the end of a sentence), and if it gets into your blood, it will begin to multiply itself on your white blood cells. It does this by “squeezing then hiding” itself into the “brain” of the white blood cell. Here it convinces the white blood cell that it is a HIV-manufacturing factory, and it begins to make millions of copies of itself. After doing this, the white blood cell is destroyed, and so the number of white blood cells in the body become fewer and fewer while the number of HIViruses gets bigger.
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) happens after many years when the body can no longer make new white blood cells. Now there are too few of the protective white blood cells that keep the body healthy and the immune system (or “army”) gets very weak. Dormant viruses, contagious illnesses, and even cancer cells have the chance to become powerful again and the person is said to have AIDS. Anti-retroviral medication can help to strengthen the immune system and a person who takes their medicine regularly can live a normal, healthy and productive life for many years. Sadly though, when the body succumbs to Aids, people die from a host of illnesses that one could otherwise recover from with a healthy immune system.
Some babies are born with the virus. It is usually passed on to the baby from the mother when she gives birth. These babies are given medicine soon after birth, and this can help them to stay healthy for many, many years. Some people may get the virus if they have been given blood with the virus. Older children need to understand that HIV is spread by sexual intercourse.
- How can I protect myself?
Children must never play with needles, or make “blood brother” pacts. Because the virus multiplies in the blood, any used injection needles or anything with blood must be carefully destroyed. Teachers teach children that they must not touch blood, and to call the teacher if there are accidents at school.
When your children start asking questions about sex, explain that sex is something that only adults do, to show their love for one another. They need to understand that sex is special and should not be done with just anybody. Explain that the act of sexual intercourse is where new life begins – it makes babies too.
On a tougher note, warn preteens that there are as many as 63 recognised sexually transmitted diseases! Not only are these on the increase, they’re also becoming more difficult to treat. Then you can tell them about the HIVirus that hides in the fluid ejaculated from the penis (semen), or in the mucus found inside a woman’s cervix and vagina. When these two organs come together during sexual intercourse, there is a mixing of this fluid, and this is how the virus is spread from one person to another.
Older children need to know that having sex at a young age puts them at risk – particularly girls, because their reproductive organs are immature and vulnerable. They need to understand that by having sex with more than one partner they are even more at risk. So, what about safe sex? Tweens need to understand that the only “safe sex” is no sex at all – and that includes oral and rectal sex and mutual masturbation. Condoms are made for adults and are not always 100% safe. They can break and they don’t provide protection against all skin-to-skin Sexually Transmitted Infections.
- What if someone I know has HIV?
Help children to understand that there is no need to be afraid of a person who is HIV positive. They cannot get the virus by playing with an HIV positive friend, sharing their food, holding hands, hugging or even kissing, so don’t tell your child to avoid certain children at school. The HIVirus is surprisingly weak when it’s in the wrong place like the air, in fluid (this includes mosquito saliva, swimming pools, toilet seats etc), household cleaners and all chemicals. However, it’s incredibly powerful when it’s in the right place which is in human fluid (particularly the sexual fluids).
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This article is reprinted by kind permission from Your Child, the magazine for parents of kids from 4 to 12 years old. The full text of the article appears in Your Child.
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